The Connection Compass

The Connection Compass

Compass Issues

Compass Issue #3 — Stop The Chaser–Spacer Dynamic

Lee H. Baucom, PhD's avatar
Lee H. Baucom, PhD
Mar 10, 2026
∙ Paid
a broken egg sitting on top of a blue object
Photo by Paul Harris on Unsplash

When a marriage feels unstable, one partner often tries harder to fix the relationship.

The other partner often pulls away.

The harder one person chases, the more the other creates space.

In this Compass Issue, you’ll learn about the Chaser–Spacer dynamic and why the healthiest role in this pattern is becoming a Pacer — someone who helps stabilize the relationship rather than escalating the cycle.

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