When You’re the Only One Trying
(And How to Keep Going Without Losing Yourself)
Sometimes it hits you in a quiet moment… maybe you’re making dinner, maybe you’re driving home. And you realize, I’m the only one working on this.
It’s not that your spouse doesn’t care at all.
But they’re not showing up the way you are.
They’re not having the late-night conversations with themselves about what’s worth saving and how to do it.
They’re not reading books, searching articles, or lying awake wondering if the marriage can still make it.
And that can be a lonely place to stand.
Why This Season Feels So Heavy
When you love someone and see the gap growing between you, it’s natural to want to close it.
But what often happens is that we end up putting in a lot of effort — and not all of it moves us forward.
I’ve talked with countless people in this same season who’ve told me about:
Trying to talk (but the conversation turns tense)
Trying not to talk (but then the silence feels like a wall)
Compromising (but the resentment builds quietly)
Waiting for them to “wake up” (but nothing changes)
The hard truth is, marriage change doesn’t always begin when both people are ready.
More often, it begins when one person decides to take a different kind of step.
The Quiet Turning Point
The turning point isn’t usually a big movie moment with tears and sweeping music.
It’s quieter than that.
It’s the moment you decide to stop doing the same things and expecting a different result.
The moment you choose to act with clarity instead of desperation.
The moment you find a path that lets you lead the change without chasing or losing yourself in the process.
Finding Your Next Step
If you’re in that place now, I want you to know there are ways forward that don’t involve pushing, pleading, or giving up hope.
Here are two ways I can help you explore them:
The Save The Marriage System: my complete, step-by-step framework for turning things around even if you’re the only one trying. It’s a self-paced way to learn the shifts that make a difference, and it comes with a free week of VIP access, where you can join live calls and get personal guidance.
👉 Learn about the System here »Private Coaching: for when you need one-on-one support and a plan tailored to your exact situation. My team and I will walk alongside you as you work toward the marriage you want.
👉 Find out about coaching here »
You’re Not Alone
I know how exhausting it is to keep showing up when it feels like you’re the only one doing so.
And I know the doubt that creeps in when you’ve already tried so much.
But I’ve also seen how one person, with the right tools, mindset, and support, can begin to shift the entire relationship.
If that’s you right now, I hope you’ll take the next step that feels right.
Not because you have to fix everything today, but because every small, intentional step counts.